Christian Marriage Counseling in St. Louis

Faith and psychology together

Taking marriage seriously includes understanding the people in it.

I believe Jesus made the people psychology studies. Your emotions, memories, expectations, and ways of relating are not distractions from a faithful marriage. They are part of the life you are trying to bring honestly to him.

We can talk about Scripture, prayer, forgiveness, service, and what you believe God asks of you. We also need to understand what happens on an ordinary Tuesday when someone feels criticized, an agreement is forgotten, or another evening passes without connection.

I’ll ask about a recent interaction rather than decide in advance that one person needs to be more loving or the other more respectful. What was asked? What was heard? What did each of you do next? Sometimes the way a concern is expressed makes it harder to hear. Sometimes a reasonable concern really is being ignored.

Those are different situations. Your Christian commitments can help give the work direction without replacing the need to understand what is actually happening.

Practical work, shared responsibility

Neither of you has to find the perfect sentence to make the other care.

Communication matters, but one person cannot communicate well enough to do both people’s work. Each spouse is responsible for their conduct. We can examine how your responses affect one another without assuming equal blame or deciding that one account settles the whole story.

A useful next step might be an agreement about evenings, a more honest conversation about affection, or returning to an unresolved concern with less defensiveness. We would also look at whether that change happens outside the appointment.

The aim is not simply to keep you from arguing or to pressure you into saying everything is fine. It is to understand what needs attention and work toward a relationship in which love is expressed through real choices.

Brian Bachman, MA, LPC, earned graduate degrees in counseling and theological studies from Covenant Theological Seminary. Learn more about Brian, or read shared responsibility and an honest voice in Christian marriage.

Looking for a different format? Individual Christian counseling is for one person’s concerns, including their own experience within a marriage. General couples counseling does not assume shared Christian beliefs.

This practice does not work with current abusive relationships, coercive control, or violence. Those situations need specialist support. Counseling cannot guarantee reconciliation or substitute for either spouse’s willingness to participate.